Do Borderlines Come Back After Breakups

Do Borderlines Come Back After Breakups

Having a borderline personality disorder (BPD) is challenging, to say the least. Having a BPD partner does not make things any easier. BPD is characterized by unstable relationships and volatile behavior. So do borderlines come back after breakups? This article will explain what BPD is and whether or not borderlines come back after breakups. This article will also help you understand how this diagnosis might impact your relationships moving forward. Read on to learn more!

Do Borderlines Come Back After Breakups?

Unfortunately, the answer is yes. When you break up with someone who has borderline, they tend to come back after a breakup. This is because of the nature of borderline personality disorder (BPD). BPD causes the person to be extremely emotionally unstable and impulsive. This means that they will often try to get back together with you even if you don’t want them back. They will do this by breaking up with you and then trying to get back together again in order to control your actions. When they finally give up and leave you alone, they will then try to get back together with you again if they can’t find anyone else. The only way that you can truly be free of a borderline is if they are willing to get help for their problems. If they do not do this, their unstable nature will continue to plague your relationship and keep it from lasting long term.

What Happens To Borderlines After Breakups?

  • Borderlines often struggle with intense emotions, including feelings of rejection. If the breakup was caused by the borderline’s inability to maintain a healthy relationship, they are more likely to experience feelings of shame and self-loathing. In some cases, this could lead to thoughts of suicide.
  • If a borderline ends a relationship, however, they are more likely to feel feelings of relief. Borderlines can be very manipulative. When trying to get back together with an ex, they will often use guilt to get what they want. If they succeed in getting the other person back, they will begin to feel resentful, and the relationship will once again start to crumble.
  •  If a borderline does come back after a breakup, it is essential that the other person let go of any guilt. A borderline will want to feel special and chosen, and bringing them back into your life after they have been rejected can feed into their need for superiority.

How Does BPD Impact Relationships?

BPD relationships are intense.

BPD relationships are often described as “all-or-nothing” because of their intensity. This can be both a gift and a curse depending on how you look at it. People with BPD tend to be overly sensitive, which makes them very empathetic towards others. This can be a great quality for a friend or lover. However, because they are so easily overwhelmed by their emotions, they can also be very high maintenance. This can cause distress for their loved ones if they are not mindful of this tendency. People with BPD also tend to idealize their loved ones. This can be of great quality too. When someone is idealized, it feels like the person is seeing you as your best self. But extreme and sudden shifts in relationship patterns are also common in BPD relationships. This can be a devastating experience for all parties involved. The person with BPD may suddenly end an important relationship for seemingly no reason, or they may put all of their attention on one person and neglect others, which can be uncomfortable for everyone involved.

People with BPD struggle with trust

People with BPD often struggle to trust their loved ones, which can create a lot of tension in relationships. Borderline individuals are often hypervigilant, which means they are constantly on the lookout for signs of abandonment or rejection. This can make it very hard for them to feel secure in their relationships. People with BPD tend to be extremely sensitive to criticism. Criticism isn’t necessarily malicious or intended to tear someone down, but it can be experienced as an attack. This makes it almost impossible to give constructive criticism to a person with BPD. People with BPD also tend to have a fixed and black-and-white view of the world. They may have the belief that everyone is either a good person or a bad person, for example. When someone is categorized as “bad,” this can make it extra hard for them to trust their loved ones again. This can make it difficult for people with BPD to maintain healthy and long-term relationships.

Relationships can be a source of shame and self-hate

People suffering from BPD often feel like their relationship struggles are a reflection of their identity. They may feel shame about their inability to form and maintain healthy relationships. People with BPD are often highly sensitive. This can make them more prone to feelings of shame. People with BPD also tend to have an extreme view of the world. They often see their relationships as “all or nothing.” They may feel like they are either the best or worst person their partner has ever been with. This can make it hard to accept that they are simply “normal.” People with BPD are also prone to feeling alienated from their own emotions. This can make it hard for them to accept that their relationship struggles are a normal part of being human.

BPD and sex can be really difficult to navigate

People with BPD often struggle with shame around their sexual identity. They may feel guilty for having sexual desires, or they may feel shame about their sexual history. These types of intense emotions can leave people with BPD feeling out of control, which can cause a lot of shame. People with BPD are also prone to impulsive behaviors, which can make it hard to form sexual relationships that work for both parties. People with BPD may have trouble asking for what they want sexually. They may also have a high libido, which makes it hard for them to take no for an answer.

Is There Hope For Borderlines In Relationships?

Borderlines often struggle with feelings of shame, which makes them hesitant to seek help. However, it is possible to reduce feelings of shame through the following techniques:

  • Self-Care: Self-care is essential for mental health. People with BPD often find it challenging to take care of themselves. Some ways to practice self-care are by eating healthy foods and sleeping enough.
  • Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness is the practice of being in the present moment without judgment. This can be done by taking a walk outside and focusing on your senses, or by meditating. 
  •  Journaling: Journaling is a great way to explore and understand the emotions that you are feeling. By journaling, you can explore difficult emotions without being harshly critical of yourself.

How To Move Forward After A Borderline Breakup? 

Take some time to be by yourself

If you’re anything like the majority of people, you’re likely to jump into another relationship as soon as you realize the one you’re in is going nowhere. This is the worst thing you can do after a borderline breakup. You need to take some time to be by yourself and evaluate who you are as a person and what you want out of life and love. You need to learn to love yourself again and be happy with yourself before you can truly be happy with someone else. There’s no way to know exactly when you’re ready to be in another serious relationship again, but you’ll know when the time is right. You’ll feel like this is something you need in your life, and you’ll feel excited about the prospect of meeting someone new. You won’t feel like you have to jump into something just because you’re lonely.

Don’t rush into another relationship right away

This is something you want to be careful of after a borderline breakup, but it’s especially important if you’re in your 20s or early 30s. You might think you’re ready for something serious and committed right away, but that’s not always the case. Some people just aren’t ready for a serious relationship and/or marriage (no matter how much they think they are) and you need to allow yourself time to be ready. If you rush into another relationship right away, you may be setting yourself up for another borderline breakup. You need to take your time and let the healing process take place; otherwise, you’ll just end up repeating the same mistakes you made before. You may even end up repeating them with the same person.

Learn from your mistakes and don’t repeat them

As we mentioned above, you need to let the healing process take place after a borderline breakup. Once you’re over the relationship, you need to take a step back and analyze what went wrong. How did you end up in this situation in the first place? What did you do that led to the relationship ending? Once you figure out what went wrong, you can learn from your mistakes and make sure you don’t repeat them again in the future. You need to understand where you went wrong and why you headed down the path to a borderline breakup in the first place.


A borderline personality disorder is a serious mental illness that can have a significant impact on relationships. While there is hope for recovery, it is important to remember that people with BPD need help and support. In order to move forward after a breakup, it is important to focus on yourself and prioritize your needs.